Reasonably Unhappy

Heh. Not gonna give a damn about title and post. Life’s complexity or simplicity is decided by our perspective after all!

I spent the whole weekend being super slack and relaxing. It was great! Relaxation helped a lot. But it’s also helped to make me “reasonably unhappy”. Relaxation helps me to bring things into context. And that’s when you realize where the problems are. Denial is a huge challenge I have to deal with. As is a perfectionist tendency.

Like a flood bursting out of the dam that couldn’t be contained, I felt myself unravelling all over again. I really want to say I couldn’t help it, but for one who has studied personal power, such excuses are no longer viable. Should I just face it, or should I let it disappear for awhile longer? Or can someone teach me how to let go?

It’s time to up risk-taking. Unless I feel challenged, I can’t get anything done anymore. Of the 4 enemies, I have yet to overcome the first. Time to slay fear with the blade of clarity.

I have no parents: I make the heavens and Earth my parents.
I have no home: I make awareness my home.
I have no life or death: I make the tides of breathing my life and death.
I have no divine power: I make honesty my divine power.
I have no means: I make understanding my means.
I have no magic secrets: I make character my magic secret.
I have no body: I make endurance my body.

I have no eyes: I make the flash of lightning my eyes.
I have no ears: I make sensibility my ears.
I have no limbs: I make promptness my limbs.
I have no strategy: I make “unshadowed by thought” my strategy.
I have no design: I make “seizing opportunity by the forelock” my design.
I have no miracles: I make right action my miracles.
I have no principles: I make adaptability to all circumstances my principles.

I have no tactics: I make emptiness and fullness my tactics.
I have no talents: I make ready wit my talent.
I have no friends: I make my mind my friend.
I have no enemy: I make carelessness my enemy.
I have no armor: I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.
I have no castle: I make immovable mind my castle.
I have no sword: I make absence of mind my sword.